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A Patriarchátus Bukása
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Bonfire of the Patriarchy
10/13/2016
10:16 pm ET
For the next three and a half weeks, we will bear witness to something that is exceptionally ugly but perhaps necessary for us to enter a new era.
For the next three and a half weeks, we will bear witness to something that is exceptionally ugly but perhaps necessary for us to enter a new era.
I’m
calling it the bonfire of the patriarchy.
Patriarchy
is a loaded term that many non-feminists dislike but it is an accurate
description of a long era of human history where men and masculinity ruled our
public sphere.
There
is perhaps no better marker point for the official end of the patriarchy than
the election of a woman as President of the United States, the single most
powerful person in the world.
Now
that Hillary Clinton’s election has become likely on Nov. 8th, partially due to
Trump’s history of sexually assaulting, objectifying, and demeaning women, what
I believe we must now face is dozens of disclosures and chilling testimony from
women who have been harmed, both by Donald Trump himself and, as the Trump
campaign has now promised, by Bill Clinton.
Yesterday,
three more women came forward with stories about Trump. And Trump campaign CEO
Steve Bannon has now promised to “turn Bill Clinton into Bill Cosby.”
The
dam has broken. It is going to get much, much worse.
Normally,
women who have been victimized are silenced by the threat of legal repercussions
or media smears but now will be their moment to speak with the safety that
comes in numbers
It
will be very hard but important to witness.
The
abuses of women by men in power has been the dirty secret of the patriarchy
since time immemorial. Many titans of industry, political leaders, and powerful
figures have each done their share, including those we still celebrate. It’s
been part of the “spoils” of victory and the perks of power to use that power
to take sexual advantage of women.
This
propensity towards sexual conquest, groping, and rape lingers from our genetic
line; when alpha male primates experienced a surge of testosterone as they
advanced in the social hierarchy, they often took females sexually by force.
I
believe this biological history is part of why otherwise reasonable men have
done this again and again as they ascend into power.
In
today’s world, this is no longer tolerable. It is time for a permanent end to
accepting this behavior on any level, which, in turn, is a prerequisite for
women to feel honored, respected and safe in the world.
This
is not a women’s issue. It’s a human issue. As a man, I am committed to ending
sexual assault, not just because I have women in my life that I love but
because it’s crippling our ability to create a healthy society for all,
including men. Once powerful men are comfortable taking advantage of women
sexually, they become prone to many other kinds of abuse as well.
So
what we must now go through, on the cusp of the dawning of a new era beyond the
patriarchy, is witnessing the terrible trail of trauma that lies behind some of
the most powerful and respected men in the world.
The
silence must be broken fully so that it really becomes clear that we simply
cannot allow this any more.
It
will be ugly, sad, demeaning, and demoralizing. It will be a kind of Armageddon
of our cultural shadow.
And
yet, I want to encourage all of us to hold open our hearts, have compassion for
both Donald Trump and Bill Clinton as they go through this bonfire (as well as
Hillary and Melania).
It
will be painful to witness as both of these powerful men have their shadowy
history exposed.
And,
this may be exactly the medicine we need right now - an exposure of the ugly
side of male dominance and exploitation of the feminine in order that we can
truly enter a new era, one in which respect for women, true equality, and
safety for all is non-negotiable.
Witnessing
this bonfire will send a strong message to the gropers, abusers, and rapists of
the world. Subconsciously, they will know that the gig is up and the era in
which that is permissable is coming to an end.
We
will, as a whole society and world, come to the point of saying, “Enough.”
With
that said, we must also forgive in order for the whole pattern to truly heal.
If we remain in righteous moralization on what we witness, we will also forget
that these powerful men are also divine souls on a path of maturation.
There
will need to be healing and reconciliation, but after they have fully faced
what they have wrought with humility and contrition.
I
am convinced that Hillary Clinton will emerge from this bonfire as our first
woman President. But she will likely be scarred in the process.
Let
us hold her in the light so that she can govern in this new era with wisdom.
And
let us all be willing to witness the bonfire with as much love as we can muster
and recognize this as an historic moment in which an old patterns of domination
and exploitation are dying to give rise to a new era in which women and men
together create a more just, peaceful, and loving world.
That
is the phoenix that can arise from the ashes.
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